Loofahs are disgusting. It’s a thing we understand in the abstract but refuse to acknowledge in practice. Like the McRib. (Why is it shaped like bones? No one eats a sandwich with bones in it.) There’s a better way. I…
Amazon
3 October
Bath Overflow Drain Cover
There is a reason almost all husbands who try to claim their wives drowned in bathtubs get caught – that’s because literally all women know you can barely get all the way wet in a lot of tubs, especially older…
3 October
Hand Brush
Just like you can tell how old a woman is by her hands, you can tell how hard she has been hitting the self tan. They all tell you to wash your hands after application – this keeps you from…
26 September
Hoola Bronzer
A lot of bronzers are made like they don’t trust you to use bronzer. They call it “buildable” but we all know what they’re really saying is “you’ve lost your bronzing privileges after you made Jersey Shore popular”. So most…
23 September
Back Massager
I know this looks like something I got sucked into buying from SkyMall on a long haul flight but I really do love this back massager. First of all it’s clearly a massager and not secretly a vibrator so you…
18 May
Magnesium Complex
Like any good wanna be Instagram influencer I have a product that will CLEAN YOU OUT. It’s much cheaper than whatever tea the latest cast member to be kicked off the Real Housewives is shilling next to her teeth whitening…
